We’ve all read the phrase time and again and we nod in agreement. Submissives and slaves are / can be strong women, and strong women can be submissives and slaves. And nobody can deny. But what then is this mythical strong submissive?
Let me bust a few myths of a different kind: a strong submissive is not someone who fights her Dom/Master for control or tries to renegotiate every step along the way. It also does not mean a woman in fancy lingerie and fuck-me heels, seducing her her partner into doing what she wants.
That is not submission. And women who begin by spelling out what they want instead of wondering what they can give? That is not strength. As for the woman who denies responsibility for her submission and seeks to have dominance imposed on her? No, that’s not strength, that is asking for abuse.
So wherein lies the strength in submission?
Strength in submission means being willing to do battle with yourself and accepting the guidance and assistance of your Dom/Master in doing so. It means the strength to accept responsibility for your own actions, overcome convention and upbringing and the standards of society and fulfill the needs of a submissive soul.
It means doing battle with fears and obstacles in the ultimate effort to find your truth under the guidance of another. Giving up resistance and letting the other decide where you travel next. Accepting responsibility for your choice and the consequences.
Facing demons, abandoning pride, ego, dignity and showing the barest bones of your self to give to his pleasure. It means accepting that some things you are asked to do go against every grain in your body and doing them anyway. Not balking at the first sign of something you may consider less pleasant, but accepting, nay savouring the challenge.
But most of all, what takes strength is looking beyond the cliches, and getting down on your knees of your own free will. Exposing your body, heart and soul and allowing the other to take the lead in your most vulnerable state. That takes strength, and courage.
And any Dom or Master worth his salt will be honoured to see all that force voluntarily surrendered at his feet.